I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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