why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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