I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
