I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She has the best kind of daddy issues
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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