Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
