you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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