dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
