I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
