I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
