i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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