Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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