I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
