Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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