if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
