new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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