Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
