just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
