I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
