Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
