I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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