So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
