Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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