I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
