Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
