I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
