It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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