I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
