I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
