whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
