Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
