Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
