it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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