trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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