goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
