it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
