Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
