So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
