I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
