Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
