Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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