she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
