My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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