I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
