He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
