kristin has been a bad kristin
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
