peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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