I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
