So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
