She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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