Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
